Peace After Conflict

Sometimes people are so hell bent on being hurt, they unknowingly create a fog that blocks a full understanding of a particular situation. They are likely depleted and cannot muster the energy to see an expanded picture. They very well could have been in survival mode for a long time. Clinging to a belief that may have fuelled them to get through the hurt. To let that go might feel like their very demise. 

When you reach out to try and understand and offer them a clear picture of where you stand, do not be surprised if they lash out. They have already branded an association about you in their mind. Whether you made communication errors, you were unhelpful, or your words unintentionally hurt them, some people will keep you there. 

Anything you say or do 

No matter how real or true 

Will always be stained 

By the tone they assigned you 

While this is sad and disappointing, and not a whole lot of fun to imagine this role they have placed you in their mind, at the end of the day it is not your concern. Whether they are right or wrong, is irrelevant to you as well. You will always be who you are, regardless of someone else’s perception. If it feel important to try a peace offering, that’s great, but prepare your heart. Rejection is likely. Most especially if there is any hint of you holding them accountable for their unwillingness to participate in full communication.

Instead of dwell in sadness, let them go. They do not belong on your path. While they may change down the road, it is not healthy or safe to wait and hope. They are still growing in ways you have already gone through, and that’s okay. There is nothing wrong with either position. Growth is growth, but sometimes mixing different growth phases can be unhelpful for both parties. 

Allow them the breathing room to grow in their own way, in their own space, without interference. You deserve that, and so do they. Whether or not they find peace will be up to them, the only peace you have control over is your own. 

Love, Rachel