Album Diaries | Everything
Rachel Adell, an American mother of three, living in London is releasing an album after enduring cancer and other challenges. Rachel's hope is that Saturday Sunrise will wrap its arms around you, and help you get through that next dark night, as it has for her.
Song: “Everything”
Album: Saturday Sunrise 2023
Written: Los Angeles 2011 , orginal title “You Had to Go”
Topic: Grieving a loved one, namely a parent
This song was inspired by the death of mother in law’s mother. Their relationship was so tender and sweet, and touched me deeply. It was originally titled “You Had to Go” but I wanted to focus more on the love and admiration, not only the loss. The loss is the inspiration for the song, and hopefully creates a space to do some of your own grieiving if you have also lost someone close to you. There is a sweetness is allowing ourselves to truly feel the pain, so we can find some reverance and quiet on the other side.
Only a couple years before Ruthie passed away she told me that she held her daughter and hugged her the whole night during a particularly rough chapter. That image holds space in my heart every time I play or sing this song. Thank goodness for the people who are willing to sit with us and rock us when we need it most.
Always had you before
I don’t have you anymore
All my memories are perfect and right
You held me and rocked me throughout the night
I still remember
Your smile and frown
I’m sorry for the times I let you down
I’ll always love you
You’ll always love me
But I’ll be good for you, wait and see
Recently my mother went through cancer, and then was given the news that the chemo and radiation would not be able to get rid of it all, and she would need to get transfusions for the rest of her life. The other part is that we don’t know how long she has to live as it is such a rare cancer. Losing my mom seems unfathomable, I hope we have lots more time with her. Our mothers become this symbol and figure that is impossible to replace. For those of you who have already lost your mothers, my heart goes out to you. It has got to be the most challenging loss, most especially if you were young, oh my gosh. All the blessings to your wonderful heart, I hope this song finds a safe home with you.
You had to go
Yes I know
You were everything, everything, everything
You were everything, everything, everything
You were everything
Gotta be strong
Time to move on
Don’t want to go home
Without you there
I know you’re not gone
That feeling is wrong
I’m gonna hang on
Till I see you again
You were everything to me
Written and performed by Rachel Adell
Produced by Craig Sayer
Album Diaries | You Have It
Rachel Adell, an American mother of three, living in London is releasing an album after enduring cancer and other challenges. Rachel's hope is that Saturday Sunrise will wrap its arms around you, and help you get through that next dark night, as it has for her.
Song: “You Have It”
Album: Saturday Sunrise 2023
Written: Los Angeles 2020
Topic: You have what it takes within
Brave the weather
Far from home
You come untethered
Like a poem
Rise and fall
Pull and sway
Not lost at all
Feel it beat so heavily
Tension and revelry
Holding space
You gotta breathe
I wrote this song initially in Los Angeles while living through the pandemic, but I was thinking back to when we lived in Montreal. I was experiencing serious postpartum depression in the middle of those 7 month Montreal winters-ehhh. I had intruding thoughts of ending it all. So hard to speak up about these things because you don’t want to be too heavy for anyone, but what I have found from my own experience of speaking up or wishing other people felt safe to speak up, is that it’s always always worth it. All people want is to be there for you. They feel honored you chose them to trust your heart with.
Digging low
Crawling slow
Motion spinning
Storms collide
Instincts alive
You have it in you
Alive and waiting
Hurricane swelling in your bones
Hear what you’re saying
While they throw all their diamond stones
Jump and bolt
Somewhere out there, no hat, no coat
Barefoot prints out in the snow
Naked and so vulnerable
Holding to hope
As the universe unfolds
There is a strong hopeful child inside of you who doesn’t want you to give up. There is always a way forward. Nothing lasts forever.
Some days it may seem freaking beyond possible, but hang on, that relief you’re seeking is just around the corner.
Keep breathing. Tell a trusted friend. Take a break just for you. Align your expectations. Allow yourself to let go. Keep breathing. One deep breath at a time. Ask the universe to help you. You are connected. You are capable. You have so much to look forward to. This will not last forever. You’re going to be okay. Another deep breath. You are going to be okay. You are going to be okay. You are going to be okay.
Standing there
In the falling snow
Head spinning
Storms inside
Your soul’s alive
You have it in you
Written by Rachel Adell and Craig Sayer
Produced by Craig Sayer
Album Diaries | Beautiful
Rachel Adell, an American mother of three, living in London is releasing an album after enduring cancer and other challenges. Rachel's hope is that Saturday Sunrise will wrap its arms around you, and help you get through that next dark night, as it has for her.
You slow down and see
We moved to Australia right after I had been diagnosed with cancer. The kids were little. Ten and six. Going through chemo and radiation, losing my hair, giving myself shots in the stomach, and trying not to throw up after every meal, was a bit intense. Talk about your world being flipped on its back. If you haven’t been through something massively life threatening before, I’ll give you the spoiler; it’s family. The people closest to you that become your treasures. Everything else falls to the wayside.
Sun fallin on the floor
Sitting here with me
What do I love more than
Smiling missin’ teeth
Singin’ in my nightgown
A white bird flies by
Her hair is messy
Two clouds in the sky
I wrote this song on a Saturday morning surrounded in my adorable family. I wrote what I saw. Cutest little girl singing with me, her glorious messy hair. Both of us in our night gowns just appreciating the morning sun, the clear sky, and the occasional seagull flying past the window. Stephen making breakfast, Sam dreamily staring into space on the couch. Love them all so much. I became very aware that they were my forever, my everything. My dreams had come true. The little family I had always dreamed of was right there with me.
He’s making breakfast
Pancakes in a pan
Day dreams in a t shirt
Love to watch him stand
My boy is staring into space
No eyes quite like that
Power in his thoughtful gaze
Holding the minutes
Falling through my hands
[They are my] forever and
Everything I have
Written and performed by Rachel Adell
Produced by Craig Sayer